5 Lessons I learnt in 2019

2019 was an impactful year for me. Here are some lessons I learnt.

1. Self – Love

 I don’t think confidence equals self- love. Not in real time at least. I can walk into a room, have all eyes on me and not flinch but still be wondering if my tummy is flat or if I my outfit is being envied by all. This is all going on while I have a bright smile on my face, head in the sky and a confident glint in my eyes. I have learnt that regardless of my body shape, my palette, my interests, and concerns I shouldn’t feel ashamed. I will forever love my parents for never questioning my interests and the things I turn to for comfort. No matter how far-fetch they might be. I had to take charge of my well-being rather than blindly follow and let other direct and ruin my life. I did this by: 

  • Dropping toxic people ·       
  •  Loving and taking care of my body ·       
  • Listening to my inner voice more often ·      
  • Removing negative comparisons ·      
  •   Having loving, respectful relationships ·       
  • Never settling for less than my heart and soul’s desire (Fun Fact: This pushed me to achieving and attaining heights I never would have thought possible).

Self – love was a lesson I learnt because I had a huge load off my back when I cut off some people and was free with a lot of things. I ended up loving my body, embracing my journey and listening to my inner voice. 

2. Everyone starts from the beginning.

Be it making a new friend, having a favourite show or novel or even favourite food. We all started by first trying to adjust or getting used to it. 

Last year, I learned to leave my shy, safe bubble and approach people first. I never did that when I was younger. I either made friends through my parent’s introduction or group presentations. You might have had an eraser when I needed one, so the teacher called your name to lend me one. I would never have asked you for the eraser myself, but when the teacher asked you I learnt your name. Worst of all, I was made class representative when I didn’t even run for the position!!! My teacher said I now had a reason to socialise with my classmates. You do not want to know how many times I fainted in my head at the beginning of every class. 

The upside of this is that I made loads of friends. Not only did the students who did the same course as me but people on other courses or who I met through others. I tried new things with my new friends as we introduced each other to interesting new experiences be it art, food, entertainment, health

The reason this is a lesson is that I learnt to open up to others and not just clam up shut. I learnt to let people in even if I still was the kind to be guarded. I am a Cancer you can’t blame me, it’s in my blood. 

3. Cherish my loved ones

2019 was my year of realising people’s love. When I say people, I mean the family and friends. I mean people I never thought I could call up and just share my struggles with or that I could go to them if I ever had any issues. Even my immediate family members who I sometimes find it difficult to open up to. It doesn’t even have to be about my struggles or positive encounters or achievements, just the fact of keeping up to date and checking up. 

Not only did I realise the love of people around/surrounding me had for me, but I also saw the importance of a call or text. No matter how short or brief staying in touch really makes a difference. 

I felt blessed in 2019. With the constant show of love and care, they blanketed me with from all angles. You all know yourself! I also had a lot of first’s which scared the ‘marbles’ out of me. Those events got me looking at certain people a different way and made me realise I can’t be stingy with my love because of my fear of what is going in the other person’s head. A big one to always remember is that everyone wants to be cherished

4. Time apart isn’t always a bad thing

Unfortunately, I am the kind to go missing in action for a while, then pop back and catch up with all around me. I am surprised to find the world has moved on without me and is a little hostile to people like me. Thank God I now know to keep in touch and thus avoid the misunderstandings I used to have when I reconnected with the world. 

Even with my constant effort to be more sociable, I came to realise that the time apart has done me good. One could look at it as small getaways from the ever-toxic society we live in. Although my means of communication is mostly via social media applications or via phone calls and such I now enjoy taking breaks from my phone, putting it on silent for a week or a few days to get a clear head. It has done wonders for me.

With time apart in relationships, friendships or whatever, we may move in different paths as we face our own hustles and focuses. Not everyone will understand what you’re going through. Even if they are 100% physically or emotionally available, it still may not be all right or enough.

In 2019 I understood that even though the distance between certain people and I was present, it was comforting and lovely to know I could reach out and see that in a heartbeat they still cared. Though they were not within my sight line, the thought of them caring even though we had not hung out in over 1 year was okay. We chatted every night and were with me through thick and thin, knowing me better than my flat mate. 

5. Letting go

Wanting to let go of something doesn’t make you a bad person. No matter how much you once loved that person, memory or thing, the sentiments it once had and all surrounding it. 

Letting go was something I had to do for the betterment of myself in 2019. Even coming to the realisation wasn’t easy. Seeing the effects on my life and those around me was something I had never imagined. Some were loving, happy moments I wished to cherish, which with time got tainted. People I unconsciously waited on. Things I once held very dear to my heart. 

Along with letting go, I also learnt that one could not please everyone. Even your family members. Someone, anyone. Would always find you lacking. Regardless, this lesson taught me to always push myself to be my very best. No matter the circumstances, whether I wanted to be in that situation, I now give it my very best effort notwithstanding what I might lose. The result had to be gold to equal my efforts and hard work. 

In letting go, I made new friends, new memories, new findings and a newer me with each step I took towards 2020. It’s the beginning of a new year and a new decade. I take the lessons of 2019 with me into 2020 even more determined to live my very best life. 

Happy new year. May it be a prosperous one for all of us!

4 comments

  1. I totally resonate with the everyone starts from the beginning. Being trying something new this year and it feels like I’m so far behind.

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